Just making a quick post to say that I finally made a shrine for Faerybabyy. I spent most of my day off on Monday making it while hanging out with Korrin, Kiersten, and Cres. Check it out here! She also just released a new song called "lakeside". It came at a good time because I've been crying to it on repeat. It's a beautiful track, I can't wait for the new album.

Plus it reminds me, I'll be at the lake with Sam all day this Friday. I miss her. I can't wait to hang out by the water, soaking in the sun and listening to music. Floating and catching up. Eating snacks. Smokin.. Maybe I should buy a pack of cigs too... hmmm.. Anyways. That's about all I have to say for now. Check out Faerybabyy's new song plus some other songs I like. I'll see you later.






^I LOVE THIS SONG^

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Feeling a bit better than I did when I made my last post. Not as anxious but still pretty tender. Overall I'm pretty good, I've just made a bad habit of letting myself get too lost in thought lately. I just got home from work, I went in at 6am. It's kind of hard to feel sad when I get smothered with love from my cat as soon as I get home.

I'm sitting at my desk, having a glass of wine. I've still been adding shit to my home page. Nothing crazy, just more graphics to assault your eyes. I don't have much to say right now, so, I'll end this here. I hope you're doing well. I'll let these songs speak for me:


"And when we woke, we agreed that we would not
ever speak of this night to anyone that we both knew.

And you said,
"Every time we kissed, I felt something that couldn't exist"
And I confessed that I thought I felt it too."



"Come in off that roof top. You're so handsome dressed in black.
See you in the shadows, I'd like to see you on your back.
Take this precious treasure, and I will treasure you.

We'll run away my dear, some place special, have no fear.
We'll even change our names. We'll be kinky, we'll be strange.
I'll take the life of crime, all to make you mine."



"I thought that I was dreamin' when you said you love me
The start of nothin', I had no chance to prepare, I couldn't see you comin'

The start of nothin', I could hate you now. It's quite alright to hate me now.
When we both know that deep down, the feeling still deep down is good."



"I thought I heard your voice amid the noise out on the street.
I imagined it at best, but the knot in my chest still skipped a beat.

I cannot concentrate or think at all of late, for the thought of you.
Though it's been so long since the day I found you were gone when I came to.

Last night, I saw your face. But something was wrong that I could not quite place.
Suddenly I began to realize the eyes I did not recognize.

I woke up with a start and a pounding heart, gasping for air.
I thought you were a ghost, or a dream at most, but you're everywhere.
Was that you just then, calling me again?"

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I'm finally archiving the posts that were on here. It was getting to be too much and this page took forever to load, especially with all the music I embed. The new page will be linked down below with all of my other posts I've made since 2018 (embarrassing times). I am starting fresh, hello.

I've been using my Gateway2000 Vivitron monitor from 1997 for the last few days. I got the urge to use it to replay GTA III, which turned into me playing Vice City. Then today I started playing Fallout Tactics. I played it like once in 2020 but I was too stupid to understand it. Revisiting it now, older and not so dumb, and it's pretty fun. Here's a pic of my monitor:



Life has been a bit overwhelming lately. I have been consumed with anxiety for most of this month. I haven't really been existing lately. I've started feeling better these last couple days, but I still just feel.. bleh overall. Been isolating myself (not from my closest friends) and spending a lot of time in my room with my cat when I'm not at work.

Sam got me out of the house and at the lake Friday, we were there for most of the day. Drinking, smoking, eating snacks, blaring music, getting sun, and swimming. Her friend Alex stopped by and the 3 of us chilled for a few hours. I really needed it, it helped me a lot. Lake days are almost as therapeutic as dancing all night in Houston.. almost. I miss dancing. Here's some pics from the lake:



Right now I'm hanging out with Kiersten, Korrin, and Cres in a call. I'm probably going to finish this and open up Fallout Tactics. I'm excited to go to Houston in December. I cannot wait to see my friends and be in Houston. I gotta try to plan it out better than last time. I felt so stretched thin between potential plans that I got anxious and just.. didn't make many. I suck sometimes. It'll be so much easier when I eventually move back, I can't wait.

Okay, that's enough rambling for now. I've been updating my home page and making it longer. I want to add a shit ton of stuff so you can scroll for a bit. Check it out. I have the next 2 days off to relax and enjoy some alone time. I will see you later.

"Just before I go to sleep, there's a rendez-vous I keep.
And, my darling, till you do, you are always in my heart."



EDIT 8/29: Okay, so, now that it's all done and taken care of, I can finally talk about this without shutting down from how nervous it made me. All the way back in April, when I was driving to the airport in ABQ to visit Houston, I got pulled over for going 80 in a 70 zone. It was in the middle of nowhere on a reservation. I could talk about how overzealous it was to pull me over for that, but that's a waste of time. Technically I was speeding, so, whatever.

I had no insurance and my registration was almost 2 years expired at that point. The cop that pulled me over was very nice and understanding. Obviously he couldn't just let me go, so he wrote me a few tickets. I assumed that I would pay them and be done with it, but he scheduled me a court date in May. I remember explaining my situation to him, that I was driving my dead grandma's car and didn't have the title in my name, blah blah blah. I didn't know why I had to go to court, but I didn't question it.

I attended my hearing a month later. The judge and cop that pulled me over just went over the traffic stop and I explained my side of things. They scheduled another hearing for 8/26, which was a few days ago. They were giving me a chance to get my shit together, and if I did, they would dismiss everything but the speeding ticket. I ended up getting insurance but I never took care of the registration. No excuses, I simply didn't do it. When things make me anxious, I tend to pull away, ignore, and avoid them as much as possible. That's my biggest flaw.

Anyways, the day before my hearing, I called because I had a few questions. When I told the woman about my hearing the next day, she looked it up and said "I'm not seeing you scheduled for anything". I was so confused since I vividly remember the judge setting another date. I asked what exactly I needed to do, even though I knew, just so I won't have to deal with any bullshit from this in the future. She said I just had to pay the speeding ticket and the registration ticket.

She said the ticket for no insurance was waived because I "showed proof", but I never did. I never emailed the proof to them like they told me to. I was planning to do that right after calling them, but.. yeah. I don't know! I just let that ride.. didn't question it. It was dismissed. I paid off my speeding ticket for $85. But when I went to pay the registration one, it showed a balance of $0? I need to check the website again and call back if it hasn't changed. Weird.

Anyways, yeah. That situation was slowly killing and eating away at me for 4 months, but it's finally behind me. I still need to get my registration taken care of, which I will in time. I'm just glad to be done with it. No more court, no more anxiety, yay.

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