"Temptation is a part of life. It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right."
I have not updated my site in almost a week.. ugh. I haven't had the motivation to do anything meaningful around here in a while. But whatever, I'm here now. I'm moving all of my California posts to their own page after I post this. I hope you're doing well. I've been okay. I mean.. I'm honestly great. I don't have much to complain about right now. But there are things on my mind. I'm just going to dive into it.

★ In 2021 I met a man on Instagram who lives in New York and ended up flying out and spending a week with him after a week or 2 of talking. The memories are like a whirlwind to me, it was a very interesting experience. He has soooo many pictures of me taken at his place and around NYC.. clothed and NEKKID. I remember him being stingy with allowing me access to the pics.. Some shit about photographers not giving something blah blah blah SEND ME THE PICTURES!

Anyways! I was scrolling through Instagram last night and had a moment. OH WAIT, to preface, shortly after I returned home from new york alllll the way back in 2021, my grandma started showing signs of dementia. I will never forget. It was when there was a leak in my floor (go to my old posts from 2021 linked at the bottom of this page if you want to know more). I was staying in my old bedroom. One night I'm laying in bed and I hear her walker in the hallway and her going "Mother?... Moootherrr?". (have you ever seen The Visit?)

I remember getting out of bed, opening my door, and looking at her like WHAT THE FUCK. I didn't have the heart to tell her that her mom had been dead for over a decade. I just said "She's not here right now" and escorted her back to bed. That was my own PERSONAL HELL. Taking care of her with dementia and my grandpa with alzheimers... UGH.

Anyways.. I'm scrolling through Instagram last night and come across a post from his account that was recommended to me. He had posted it like.. 3 or 4 days ago now. For whatever reason, all of his IG accounts have been recommended to me non-stop over the past 5 years, it's kind of crazy. It was a picture of me naked on his bed, cheeks out and all. Looking like a mess. Here's the picture:



It was a moment because that was the exact way I discovered his account almost 5 years ago. I was scrolling through IG, got recommended a post of his, and followed him. Which led me to NY. And I am not superstitious at all, I don't believe in ANYTHING. Ghosts, astrology, karma, religion, etc. It's all bullshit. But it was a weird moment for me. So I stalked his account and saw that he's been occasionally posting pics of me for years since. Here they are:




(I did a terrible job cropping the posts.. ugh.. I've been drinking wine. I don't feel like redoing it). Why the hell is there a chair on my lap. What was I doing.. LKMFAOFMAOOO. But yeah.. that was interesting to see. I miss New York! I miss being 20... WAIT NO I DON'T. I LOVE MYSELF NOW, I did not love myself back then.. EEK!

★ I'm going to visit Texas in 2 weeks. I can't wait to see my friends. I can't wait to go to Korrin's college art show. I can't wait to see Kiersten. I hope we can schedule something with us and Jozelyn, I miss her so much. I hate being so far away from everyone. I can't wait to go out and DANCE. I MISS CLUBBING. AHHH. I can't wait.

ERM.. Well. I think that's it for now. I spent too much time talking about the New York experience and now I just want to blare music from my speaker and chill. I'm gonna smoke. Updates will be coming to my website.. soon.. maybe. I just haven't had that itch to update it lately. It'll come back in time, It ALWAYS does.

Anyways.. I will see you later, I hope you're doing well. I was going to work on my site more but.. I don't feel like it. I will change the theme of this page and link to my California posts later. I'm going to play GTA 4 and pretend that I'm in New York. BYE. Listen to this song:

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