I've thoroughly enjoyed myself these last few days. I haven't had that much fun in months.

Sunday was Easter, which was hosted at my house. There was a decent amount of people and a SHIT ton of food. I ate so much that day. It was nice to be able to escape to my room whenever I got overwhelmed.

I met a guy named Alex, who was there helping out my family before everything started. He's honestly the coolest guy I've met since moving here, and of course he lives in Durango. That's where all the cool people that I'd get along with are located. My mom and stepdad love him. I ended up spending most of that day hanging out with him, smoking while watching Daria and Downtown. We also did some shrooms together, it was a good time.

He ended up crashing here. The next day, yesterday, we went to Durango and spent the day hanging out. We checked out a bunch of spots around downtown and walked the trails before hanging out at his place. He loves photographing things and playing guitar, and is very passionate about both. I love when people are passionate about their hobbies or things they like, especially if it's something creative. It's just so fucking cool.

I had so much wine last night, I feel sort of anxious about it. Like that I was talking too much. He was really sweet though, I don't think he minded. We just talked and listened to music at his computer. He is so talented, it was so cool to put on a song and watch him play it on the guitar. SO COOL.

Here's some pics I took while hanging out:


This is him playing a guitar at a music store in (I think..) Aztec.
We stopped there on the way to Durango.


I bought this eBay beanie baby at an antique mall


This is when we met some dude on the street today with a bird on his shoulder. He let us hold it, that was a first for me. I hesitated but the guy with the bird was like "JUST HOLD IT!" so I gave in. It was so sweet, it just looked at me and chirped.


I took this yesterday when we were walking around Durango.


I took this at his place when we were hanging last night,
I don't know what most of it does, but it's still cool.
I stayed the night and we ended up hanging out for most of today as well. Watching him edit his pictures was so enjoyable for me, I love to see how other people's creative process compares to mine. He's a really cool dude, it'd be nice to have friends in Durango. So I hope we hang out again.

We hung out around downtown for a bit before I ended up heading home around 5 or 6.. I don't remember. I got home, showered, and I've been hanging out with Korrin and her boyfriend for the last couple of hours. Might play some Dead By Daylight together? Or just talk.. I don't know! I'm chillin. I get to see Korrin in person in 7 days, my Texas trip is so soon. I'm sipping on some wine and I am about to smoke. I hope that you're doing well, I will see you later.

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"Temptation is a part of life. It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right."
I have not updated my site in almost a week.. ugh. I haven't had the motivation to do anything meaningful around here in a while. But whatever, I'm here now. I'm moving all of my California posts to their own page after I post this. I hope you're doing well. I've been okay. I mean.. I'm honestly great. I don't have much to complain about right now. But there are things on my mind. I'm just going to dive into it.

★ In 2021 I met a man on Instagram who lives in New York and ended up flying out and spending a week with him after a week or 2 of talking. The memories are like a whirlwind to me, it was a very interesting experience. He has soooo many pictures of me taken at his place and around NYC.. clothed and NEKKID. I remember him being stingy with allowing me access to the pics.. Some shit about photographers not giving something blah blah blah SEND ME THE PICTURES!

Anyways! I was scrolling through Instagram last night and had a moment. OH WAIT, to preface, shortly after I returned home from new york alllll the way back in 2021, my grandma started showing signs of dementia. I will never forget. It was when there was a leak in my floor (go to my old posts from 2021 linked at the bottom of this page if you want to know more). I was staying in my old bedroom. One night I'm laying in bed and I hear her walker in the hallway and her going "Mother?... Moootherrr?". (have you ever seen The Visit?)

I remember getting out of bed, opening my door, and looking at her like WHAT THE FUCK. I didn't have the heart to tell her that her mom had been dead for over a decade. I just said "She's not here right now" and escorted her back to bed. That was my own PERSONAL HELL. Taking care of her with dementia and my grandpa with alzheimers... UGH.

Anyways.. I'm scrolling through Instagram last night and come across a post from his account that was recommended to me. He had posted it like.. 3 or 4 days ago now. For whatever reason, all of his IG accounts have been recommended to me non-stop over the past 5 years, it's kind of crazy. It was a picture of me naked on his bed, cheeks out and all. Looking like a mess. Here's the picture:



It was a moment because that was the exact way I discovered his account almost 5 years ago. I was scrolling through IG, got recommended a post of his, and followed him. Which led me to NY. And I am not superstitious at all, I don't believe in ANYTHING. Ghosts, astrology, karma, religion, etc. It's all bullshit. But it was a weird moment for me. So I stalked his account and saw that he's been occasionally posting pics of me for years since. Here they are:




(I did a terrible job cropping the posts.. ugh.. I've been drinking wine. I don't feel like redoing it). Why the hell is there a chair on my lap. What was I doing.. LKMFAOFMAOOO. But yeah.. that was interesting to see. I miss New York! I miss being 20... WAIT NO I DON'T. I LOVE MYSELF NOW, I did not love myself back then.. EEK!

★ I did shrooms yesterday for the first time in a few months. It felt like a full reset on my brain, I needed that so bad. I just got naked and meditated for a few hours in silence before watching old Terri Joe tiktok livestreams and laughing my ass off. It was a good time. I think I might trip again tomorrow.. we will see. I want to trip and paint, I totally forgot that I'm stocked up with art supplies right now.. I should've been creative instead of meditating.. but whatever! Both are good.

★ I'm going to visit Texas in 2 weeks. I can't wait to see my friends. I can't wait to go to Korrin's college art show. I can't wait to see Kiersten. I hope we can schedule something with us and Jozelyn, I miss her so much. I hate being so far away from everyone. I can't wait to go out and DANCE. I MISS CLUBBING. AHHH. I can't wait.

ERM.. Well. I think that's it for now. I spent too much time talking about the New York experience and now I just want to blare music from my speaker and chill. I'm gonna smoke. Updates will be coming to my website.. soon.. maybe. I just haven't had that itch to update it lately. It'll come back in time, It ALWAYS does.

Anyways.. I will see you later, I hope you're doing well. I was going to work on my site more but.. I don't feel like it. I will change the theme of this page and link to my California posts later. I'm going to play GTA 4 and pretend that I'm in New York. BYE. Listen to this song:

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